Good Cheer in Hard Times

Reading: “Be of Good Cheer,” President Thomas S. Monson, April 2009 General Conference, Sunday Morning Session

In this talk President Monson shares three stories of people who suffered incredible hardship.  One story was of a family who lost a child while crossing the ocean to join the Saints in Nauvoo.  Another story was of a man who lost his sight and sought a blessing, but also saying that whether or not he received his sight back he was still grateful.  The last story was of a woman forced to walk from her home in East Prussia to West Germany and who buried each of her four children along the way.

All of these stories President Monson shared do not have a traditional happy ending.  We don’t know if the man ever received his sight back.  We don’t know what happened to the woman after she arrived in West Germany.  Instead each story ends with the person or family being of good cheer despite their hardship because of their faith in God.

When I first heard this talk I was deeply touched and realized on a deeper level that the most important things in life are our families and the gospel.  Sometimes I get discouraged too easily because I am focused on fleeting things that don’t matter so much, like possessions, comfort, or pride.  I can learn from these stories to focus on the important things and to trust in God more readily.

Today I am going to watch what disappoints me or stresses me and see if maybe I can be more focused on family and the gospel in those areas.

When you read or heard these stories, what did it bring to your mind?  Have you ever felt joy through the gospel at a time when you would have expected to be sad?

“And My Father Dwelt in a Tent”

Reading: 1 Nephi Chapter 2, especially verses 1-15

Note: Over the next three weeks my posts may be more sporadic as we work on moving.  I’ll do my best to keep up, though!

When Lehi began to face persecution because of the things he was commanded to teach, he prayed for help and he was told to leave Jerusalem.  He took only his family and what they would need to survive.

This story is a great compliment to Elder Perry’s talk on living a simple life in this past general conference.  The verse “And my father dwelt in a tent” is almost comical as it is one of the shortest verses in the whole Book of Mormon.  However, this simple phrase shows how Lehi and his family gave up so much in order to follow the commandments of God.

It is clear they gave up quite a bit as Laman and Lemeul were very upset about it.  In verse 11 it says,

For behold, they did murmur in many things against their father, because he was a visionary man, and led them out of the land of Jeruslame, to leave the land of their inheritance, and their gold, and their silver, and their precious things, to perish in the wilderness.

In American society, we like stuff.  It is easy to get wrapped up in acquiring more things.  Often, it seems as if the most important thing is not even the stuff, but the acquiring of new stuff, as once we have something it loses a lot of its specialness.  What really matters, though, is our family and the basic necessities we need to survive.  Our stuff can distract us from what is really important.

We are moving in two weeks.  This story was especially poignant for me as I identified with the needing to pack up and go to a place that is totally new.  However, I am not giving up nearly so much as were Lehi and his family.

Today as I start to pack, and plan what we need to do for our move, I’m going to think about Lehi and his trip and realize a) how blessed I am materially and b) that the most important thing to take care of as we move is our family relationships.

What in your life is most important?  How much of it is material things?

The Gospel Blesses Families

Reading: “The Gospel Blesses Families,” Chater 1: My Purpose as a Missionary, Preach My Gospel

In this short section there are listed many ways that the gospel helps families.  We believe that families are very important, and are the most basic part of the church.  A happy family is the greatest joy anyone can experience on earth.

Here are some of the ways that this chapter listed the gospel can help families:

• Families can be sealed for all eternity
• Families can experience peace, joy, and a sense of belonging and identity
• Families can resolve misunderstandings, contentions, and challenges
• Families with problems can be healed through repentance, forgiveness, and faith in the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ

There also are shared two quotes.  First, from the Proclamation on the Family:

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achived when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Successful marriages and families are establsihed and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work and wholesome recreational activities.

And, from President Harold B. Lee:

The most important of the Lord’s work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes.

Right now family is pretty much what I do all the time.  I am staying at home to take care of our baby and our home.  When we are focused on the principles of the gospel, we are happier together.  When we don’t we are less happy and may feel stressed or angry with each other.  Even when we may not be in the best of times, my greatest source of joy is from my family.

Today I am going to read the proclamation on the family again and think about what it means.

How does the gospel bless your family?

Home Making

Reading: D&C 88:118-126, especially verse 119, and BD Temple

We moved.  It was a lot of work.  It still is a lot of work, as I try to get my home unpacked and organized.

So, as I am getting settled into a new home, I am lead to ponder about the role of the home in our lives.  In the Bible Dictionary under temple, it states that only the home can rival the sacredness of the temple.  It always amazed me that our homes are comparable in sacredness to our most sacred place.

So, how can I make our home more like a temple, and honor its sacredness?  In D&C 88:118-126, the Lord instructs the early Saints on what a temple should be like.  In those verses the following things are listed:
- Seek learning
- Organized (literally in the sense of making an organization, not organizing your stuff, but it seems that is also good)
- Prepared with every needful thing
- Prayer
- Fasting
- Faith
- Glory
- Order
- God
- Incomings and outgoings in the name of the Lord
- Salutations in the name of the Lord
- Cease from light speeches, (loud, rude) laughter, lustful desires, pride, and light-mindedness
- Let one speak at a time
- Love one another
- Learn to impart to one another
- Not idle, unclean, or critical
- Arise early and go to bed early
- Charity
The one verse that is truly dealing with temples is verse 119, which talks about the house of prayer, fasting, faith, learning, glory, order, and God.  But, all of these things I listed seem like good qualities of a good home.  A home where people work hard, love and respect each other, and are learning about God seems to me to be the kind of home God would want me to have.

So, how can I encourage these things in my own home?  Two things come to mind.  First, I can make my home a house of order by making things orderly and tidy.  I believe strongly that there are many things more important than having a spotless house, but I also have observed that when my home is in good order everyone is happier and everything seems better.

Second, I can be more positive about things.  I can do this by growing my testimony and by focusing myself on Jesus Christ.  As the homemaker of my house, I also have often observed that when I am feeling down and depressed, everybody else gets grumpy too.  When I am happy and positive my attitude seems to rub off on others a lot more than their attitude rubs off on me.  Maybe that is just my house, but there is the saying, “When Mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy, “  so there must be some truth in other homes too.  As I have observed in several entries a few weeks ago, the best way to be happy is to focus on Jesus Christ in my daily life.

The two things I listed are what I feel would be most helpful for me, personally.  What do you do in your home to help it be more sacred?  What could you do to improve the sacredness of your home?

A Word of Encouragement for Young Mothers

Reading: “Daughters of God,” Elder Ballard, General Conference April 2008

Last conference I, with probably about every other mom in the whole church, really loved Elder Ballard’s talk directed to young mothers.  It was a very affirming talk and came at a time when I was just trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing with this mother thing.

Elder Ballard gave specific reccommendation for mothers, hubands, children, and the church on how to support mothers.

His advice to mothers was:

• Recognize the joy of motherhood comes in moments.  He quoted Anna Quinded as saying, “I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.”
• Don’t overschedule yourselves or your children.
• Find time to renew yourself.
• Pray, study, and teach the gospel.

His advice to husbands was:

• Show extra appreciation and give more validation for what your wife does every day.
• Have a regular time to talk to your wife about each child’s needs.
• Give your wife a “day away” every now and then.

His advice to children was:

• Do small chores without being asked.
• Say thank you more often.
• Tell your mother you love her more often.

His advice to the church was:

• Be careful not to overload young mothers in what you ask them to do for the church

He also stated, “No role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood.”

The advice he gives for young mothers that I struggle the most with is overscheduling.  Every day I feel like I have more to do than can ever be done.  We are not yet into the scheduled tasks exactly, but there is always a huge pile of things I would like to do that I just don’t have time for.  So, today, I’m going to ponder what is most important and try to prioritize my activities as such.  And, I’m going to try and take more joy in the doing than in getting it done.

If you’re a mom, what does your family do that really helps you?  Or, if you’re a husband or a son, what do you do for the mom in your life that helps her, or what could you do?

God Loves Families

Reading: Jacob 2 & 3

The sermon to the Nephites by Jacob is a great example of the love God has for families, especially wives and mothers.  In this sermon Jacob condemns the Nephites for starting, on their own, the practice of plural marriage.  He states that they have done great harm to their wives and children in this practice and they had better shape up or else.

There are two points in particular that Jacob makes that I would like to point out, as they relate to families.

First, in Jacob 2:32-33 he makes clear that God will not allow women to become subjugated to the men in their lives.

And I will not suffer, saith the Lord of Hosts, that the cries of the fair daughters of this people, which I have led out of the land of Jerusalem, shall come up unto me against the men of my people, saith the Lord of Hosts.  For they shall not lead away captive the daughters of my people because of their tenderness, save I shall visit them with a sore curse, even unto destruction.

Sometimes society would have us believe that until recently all women everywhere “captives” of their husbands, relegated to the status of property and essentially slaves.  While this may be true at certain places and times in history, it certainly was not always the case and here we see that that is clearly NOT okay with God.

The second point I wanted to bring out is from Jacob 3:7 when Jacob tells the people that the Lamanites are more righteous than them because at least the Lamanites love their families:

Behold, their husbands love their wives, and their wives love their husbands; and their husbands and their wives love their children; and their unbelief and their hatred towards you is because of the iniquity of their fathers, wherefore, how much better are you than they, in the sight of your great Creator?

Clearly, the loving of our family is a basic requirement for righteousness.  Another thing people like to do is to point out how barbaric things were in ancient history, and how violent and awful things were.  However, in tribal times loving and caring for your own family was such a basic thing that no one even questioned it.  Your family was what everything was all about.  I believe the reason the Old Testament has so little to say about families is because it didn’t need to be said, it was such a basic thing and everybody got it. Yet, today, with all of our improved society, we also have the highest divorce rates and children are often neglected and abused.  Are we really more “righteous” than tribal societies, if we have this most basic thing so wrong?

What do you think?  If you think I’m totally off base with this tribal societies are more righteous because they cared for their families tack, then please let me know.  Or, if you have a different way of looking at it drop that in the comments, too.

The Virtuous Woman

Reading: Proverbs 31:10-31

“The virtuous woman” passage in Proverbs 31 has always been a beautiful explanation of the role of a mother.  This week I would like to focus on families, and so today, since I am a mother, I thought I’d start with this.

When I read this passage these are the qualities I find, translated into modern English:

• She is faithful and loving to her husband
• She is ready to work
• She seeks out the things her family needs and brings in the best
• She wakes up early and gets everybody going
• She is wise financially
• She is strong
• She works the whole day long
• She serves the poor
• She has everything prepared for her family for times of need
• She makes clothes (okay, maybe not so pertinent)
• Her husband is wise
• She produces good things for her own enrichment (and her family’s)
• She is wise
• She is kind
• She is always working for her whole family and is not idle
• Her children and husband love her
• Beauty is vain, so it doesn’t matter what she looks like
• She fears the Lord

The thing I love most about this passage is it describes a woman as incredibly important and strong for her family.  A lot of times I think we are taught to think of women before modern times as meek, weak, unimportant, and dominated over by men.  However, this passage I believe shows how strong and vital women have been throughout time.  The woman described here is working hard because she loves her family, and is incredibly smart and involved in the community.

I especially like the last phrase, “Let her own works praise her in the gates.”  What could be more precious to such a woman than the praise of her own family and children?  It reminds me of a sister in our ward who recently bore her testimony.  She expressed how grateful she was for her “charmed life”, and yet you could see it was her own hard, loving work as a mother that was bringing her so much joy as she saw her own children growing up and starting families.

I believe that my role as a mother is to create a home that will be a strength to my husband and to my children as they grow.  I believe it is the most wonderful thing I could do with my life, far more important and valuable than any career or worldly experience.  Yet, it is often overwhelming as I put so much on myself.  Today when I get discouraged I’m going to try to stop for a moment and remember what it is all for, and while I can’t do everything, what I am doing is great and give myself a pat on the back.

What qualities of the virtuous woman do you find most interesting?  What qualities do you or the women in your life have that bring strength to your home?