A Christmas Creed

Christmas is coming up and it seems like every year I get carried away trying to do everything. I feel like it is my job to make Christmas special for my family, but since we do not yet have any firm traditions, I end up trying to do everything.  In the past I’ve ended up feeling stressed out and like I’m missing out on the Christmas spirit.

So, this year I am adopting a new Christmas creed: celebrating Christmas is about our family. Yesterday I was looking at my plan for Christmas I realized that most of the activities I had planned were things I had seen other people do, but that really didn’t matter much to our family. For example, after visiting the bishop’s beautifully decorated home, I wanted our home to be beautifully decorated, too. And, after seeing the products of one woman’s Christmas bake-off I also wanted to bake lots and lots of Christmas goodies. Yet, at this point the only one in my family who cares about Christmas decorations are me, and it’s okay with me if everything isn’t quite perfect yet, nor do we have the funds right now to go all out like this other woman had. And, there aren’t enough people in our family yet to eat lots of Christmas goodies – we can hardly make it through a single batch of sugar cookies! A Christmas bake-off also would not help our goal of eating more healthy.

As I thought about what would actually make Christmas better for our family, I realized the number one thing was just doing things together at a family. Yet, somehow I had left out those kind of activities almost entirely from my plans. Not just that but I realized that other plans I had could be changed to make them easier on me and more enjoyable for my family.

So, this year, whenever I come up with a Christmas plan I’m going to ask myself these questions:

• Which family member(s) will get something from this activity and what will they get out of it?
• Is the amount of work and effort I put into this activity proportional to the amount of joy and fun my family will receive from it?
• Is there maybe an easier way to do this plan that will still bring the same benefit at the same or similar monetary cost?
• How can I do this activity in such a way that it will bring our family closer together?

I’m already feeling much more into the Christmas spirit. I still have ideas for lots of fun things to do, but they are things that are really going to make a difference for me and my family, not things that just stress me out and bring my family little joy.

What family activities do you do that really bring the Spirit of Christmas for you and your family?

House Rules

Reading: “More Diligent and Concerned at Home,” Elder David A. Bednar, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, 2009 October General Conference, Saturday Morning Session

The Mormon religion holds at its center the family.  We spend a lot of time at church talking about how to make our homes better places.  In this talk Elder Bednar talks about three ways that we can be more diligent in making our homes a special place.  These are:

• Express love – and show it.
• Bear testimony – and live it.
• Be consistent.

In our house we do our best to read scriptures every day, even when the toddler is fussy and grumpy.  We do this because I know from my own life that consistency in prayer and scripture study is better than inconsistent spurts of diligence. However, there are other areas where I could strive to be more consistent. For example, while I try to be clear with my daughter about rules of the house, sometimes when I am tired or stressed or over busy I will not think about the house rules and either punish her for things that she didn’t know she shouldn’t do, or let her get away with things that she really knows not to do.  I believe very strongly that consistency is important in all aspects of parenting because it creates a safe and known place for your children, and it was good to be reminded of this by Elder Bednar.

Which of these areas that Elder Bednar spoke of  could most help your home life improve?  Have you seen how greater love, testimony, and consistency have improved your home life in the past?

Saving Lives Through Teaching

Reading: “Teaching Helps Save Lives,” Russell T. Osguthorpe, Sunday School General President, October 2009 General Conference, Saturday Morning Session

When you go to visit the doctor, you go so that the doctor can share his knowledge with you and hopefully help you find answers to a problem.  In some circumstances that doctor can save your life with his knowledge.  As Elder Osguthorpe also points out in his talk, a gospel teacher can also save your life in much the same way. A good gospel teacher shares his or her knowledge so that you can find answers to your spiritual problems.

As a mother, I often think about how I should teach my children the gospel. Sometimes I feel like I have to come up with some list of important doctrine so that I make sure I don’t miss anything.  While such an activity might be useful, over and over again lately I feel like God is trying to tell me that the most important thing isn’t a formal system of instruction, but in inviting the Spirit and following its promptings.  Elder Osguthorpe quoted President Monson as saying:

The goal of gospel teaching . . . is not to ‘pour information’ into the minds of class members. . . . The aim is to inspire the individual to think about, feel about, and then do something about living gospel principles.

Elder Osguthorpe encourages us to follow the Spirit as we teach, and to show our students that we love them and really want them to learn what we have to teach.

What teachers in your life have had a special effect on you? What was it about them that touched you?

That Your Burdens May Be Light

Reading: “That Your Burdens May Be Light,” Elder L. Whitney Clayton of the Presidency of the Seventy, Saturday Morning Session, October 2009 General Conference

One of the purposes of life is for us to experience pain and suffering.  This does not mean that life should be miserable – but it does mean that there will be many times where we feel weighed down by heavy burdens.  In this talk Elder Clayton encourages us to endure our burdens and to seek the help of the Savior as we do so.  He says,

Through it all, the Savior offers us sustaining strength and support, and in His own time and way, He offers deliverance.

Elder Clayton then shared the story of the people of Alma the Younger who were taken as slaves by the Lamanites.  As they sought the Savior’s help their burdens were not taken away (at least at first) but they were given the strength they needed to endure.

Sometimes I wonder why I must struggle with the same problems over time. Although it seems like it would be so easy for them to just go away, they often do not.  As I continue to seek the help of the Lord, though, I am often greatly blessed with wisdom and strength that I may not have gained otherwise.  This talk helped me be more accepting of my burdens and helped me to recognize more the hand of the Lord helping me lift up those burdens.

How has God helped you with your burdens in the past? What helped you carry on while enduring trials that don’t go away as quickly as you would like?

Helping Others Recognize the Spirit

Reading: “Helping Others Recognize the Whisperings of the Spirit,” Vicki F. Matsumori, Second Counselor in the Primary General Presidency

I often think about how I can teach my children to love the gospel.  Sometimes when I see the world around us I feel what I can do is inadequate to counter the outside pressures my children will face as they grow older.  In this talk Sister Matsumori gives several suggestions of ways we can help our children and others recognize the Spirit in their life.  These include:

• Help them understand doctrine
• Share your personal testimony
• Provide an environment where the Spirit can be felt

This talk helped remind me that what I am trying to do is not so much force feed my testimony into my children’s heads, but rather to help them grow their own testimony.  A testimony will come from the Spirit witnessing to them personally. Their feeling the Spirit is something I can do much to encourage, but it is not something I can directly control. The Spirit is the source of testimony, and it is only through the Spirit that they can see the truthfulness of the things I want to teach them.

How do you help your children, or the people in your life, recognize the Spirit? What did your parents, or teachers, or others do that helped your testimony grow?

Civility

Reading: “The Mormon Ethic of Civility,” from the LDS Newsroom

Tonight my mind is buzzing after reading this post by Monica Bielanko about the recent controversy over a quote from Elder Oak’s recent talk on religious freedoms.  The quote at the center of the controversy is this:

These incidents were expressions of outrage against those who disagreed with the gay-rights position and had prevailed in a public contest. As such, these incidents of violence and intimidation are not so much anti-religious as anti-democratic. In their effect they are like the well-known and widely condemned voter-intimidation of blacks in the South.

Monica Bielanko was the first of many journalists and bloggers who interpreted this quote to say that Elder Oaks was equating the backlash many members felt after the Proposition 8 fight in California with the horrendous atrocities perpetrated against blacks during the civil right movement in the 60s.  If this were the case that would certainly be an inflammatory and incorrect statement.

However, I feel it is pretty clear that Elder Oaks chose to say this because he was trying to illustrate the principle that in a free country people shouldn’t face retaliation for voting a certain way or supporting a cause.  Luckily, there aren’t very many examples of where this has happened because Americans, in general, up to now, have been pretty tolerant of people who disagree with them.  The civil rights movement is one of the few well-known examples where people faced violence and personal retaliation for supporting a political position, and Elder Oaks invoked it as an example for this reason.  I think it is clear that he is not comparing the level of retaliation in the two events. Perhaps, in hindsight, he could have made this more clear, but a careful reading shows that the interpretation some have chosen to give it is not correct.

After this story blew up, however, it is clear from her blog post that some church members chose to attack Monica Bielanko personally for writing this story.  This violates the number one item Elder Oaks asked us to do in order to preserve our religious freedoms: “We must speak with love, always showing patience, understanding and compassion toward our adversaries.”

It is important to remember that in this day and age (and arguably, to some degree, throughout time) part of the job of journalists is to find the controversial quotes and make news stories about them.  This happens ALL THE TIME.  Most political controversies these days focus on single quotes taken out of context.  It is sad every time this happens, as it is sad now, but is pretty much what journalists do.  When we descend to the level of name calling and personal attacks, we are doing nothing to help our own cause, and we are violating our own standards of behavior.

This latest general conference focused a great deal on civility and showing respect to each other.  This latest controversy is an example, on both sides, of how a lack of civility degrades people and defeats peace.  Respect for each other, despite disagreement, is a fundamental building block of society.  I am grateful that we have prophets today who are helping to preserve civility in our society, and I hope we can all strive to live our lives more closely to the ideals that God has given us.

Learning to Listen to the Spirit

Reading: “To Acquire Spiritual Guidance,” Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, October 2009 General Conference, Saturday Morning Session

In a time where life sometimes moves at lightning speeds, it is increasingly important for us to know how to follow spiritual promptings.  In his talk Elder Scott gives a primer on how to receive guidance from the Spirit.  His talk was full of more principles of personal revelation than I could discuss in a single blog post, but the one point that stood out to me was his specific advice on how to handle spiritual guidance when it is received. He said,

I believe that you can leave the most precious, personal direction of the Spirit unheard because you do not respond to, record, and apply the first promptings that come to you.

The Spirit has been a sweet companion at many times in my life, sometimes stronger than others.  As I think back to times where I felt the spirit especially strong, I remember doing a lot of writing in my journal and thinking about how to apply the promptings I received.  Without reading this talk I would think that this was simply a result of having more promptings to write and think about. Yet, after reading Elder Scott’s talk, I am thinking that maybe if I put more effort into listening to, writing about, and applying my spiritual promptings then I would feel that great spiritual outpouring again.

How do you react when you receive a spiritual prompting? What can you do to show your readiness to receive more guidance from the Spirit?

Inspired of God

Reading: “Welcome to Conference,” President Thomas S. Monson, October 2009 General Conference, Saturday Morning Session

It’s that time again! For the past two conferences I have enjoyed writing about each of the conference talks, and so I am planning on doing the same thing again starting today for the October conference.  Today I read President Monson’s welcome to conference, where one quote in particular stood out:

Those who will address us have sought heaven’s help and direction as they have prepared their messages. They have been impressed concerning that which they will share with us. That we may be filled with the Spirit of the Lord as we listen and learn is my prayer.

Last Sunday in Sunday School we had a discussion about how lucky we are to have inspired guidance by the prophets.  After the many times I have felt the Spirit touch me as I listen to General Conference, I know that the speakers sincerely seek the inspiration of God as they prepare their talks.  This year we had a big event that kept us from watching most of conference live, so I am excited to get to read what each person had to say as I review this last conference.

What were your favorite moments of conference? If you had to pick a particular talk to review, which would you pick?

Religious Freedom

Reading: “Religious Freedom,” Elder Dallin H. Oaks at a BYU-Idaho Devotional

The opinion of religion today is plummeting in the minds of much of the American people, and as more and more people look down on religion as silly or unfounded, our religious freedoms are jeopardized.  In this talk, Elder Oaks encourages us all to be more vigilant of our religious freedoms and to not be shaken by the increasing unpopularity of our positions.

Part of our religious freedom is the freedom to vote according to our religious beliefs.  It is very popular now to call religious beliefs “delusional,” “illogical,” “silly,” and “nonsensical.”  Part of the justification for this derision of religious belief is the incorrect belief that science has proven that God cannot exist, which any of the thousands of educated and actively religious scientists, engineers, doctors, and professors in this country could tell you is completely not true.  When your opinion no longer has a right to be heard, just because the other people in the country think your opinion is wrong, then you lose your freedom to participate in our democratic government.  Elder Oaks quoted Richard John Neuhaus as saying:

In a democracy that is free and robust, an opinion is no more disqualified for being ‘religious’ than for being atheistic, or psychoanalytic, or Marxist, or just plain dumb.

Increasingly those who vote according to their religious beliefs are facing retaliation for simply voting according to their beliefs.  This was particularly seen as people angry about the success of proposition 8 who went after individuals who supported the campaign. This was what Elder Oaks was talking about when he compared current religious persecution to that faced by civil rights leaders in the 60s:  part of freedom is being able to say and vote according to your conscience without being afraid of what other people will do to you.  Going after those you disagree with personally and/or violently was wrong in the 1960s and it still wrong now. Our democracy can only survive when we respect everyone’s right to share his or her opinion.

I think it is important to note that Elder Oaks does not suggest that we have currently lost our religious freedom, but rather he is telling us that if things continue along the current trend than in the future our freedoms are in danger of being lost.  He then gave five ways that we can act to make sure our religous freedoms are not lost. He says:

1. We must always speak with love, showing patience and understanding towards those we disagree with.
2. We must not be intimidated into silence, but rather continue to vote and act according to our conscience even when we may face mockery or even violence as a result.
3. We must insist on the freedom to preach the doctrines of our faith.
4. We must be wise in our political participation, and show our respect for those we disagree with as we debate with them.
5. We must be careful never to support a “religious test” for those in office (meaning we must never support a requirement that someone in office must believe or not believe any set of religious beliefs in order to obtain office.)

This is a great talk which everyone should read.  Elder Oaks does a great job of explaining what religious freedoms we have in the constitution and why those freedoms are so important. I also believe he does so in a way that is respectful of those who disagree with us, while still being firm on our rights as religious citizens.  It certainly has motivated me to be more firm in my religious opinions and not be so quick and ready to explain them away when I feel they might be criticized.

What have you noticed about the current trends in the opinion of religion? What do your religious rights mean to you? How can you help preserve our religious freedoms?

The Importance of Motherhood

Reading: Sheri Dew interviewing Elder Richard G. Scott and his daughter Linda Scott Mickle in the latest episode of Conversations, a podcast/radio show done by the Mormon Channel

This past weekend I got to listen to the latest episode of Conversations, where Sister Sheri Dew interviews Elder Scott and his daughter about his life.  In the interview they talk about Elder Scott’s life, marriage, and insights.  It is a great opportunity to get to know Elder Scott better.

The part of the interview that particularly stood out to me were Elder Scott’s words to mothers.  When Sister Dew what one piece of counsel he would give to women to help them live in this time of confusion about the role of women he said:

I think I’d begin with the fact that they should recognize that it wasn’t until after the creation of women as the final act that the Lord declared his work was done and it was good. The need to recognize the tremendously important role that the Savior himself places on womanhood. The woman is a nurturer just by the way she’s created and I think some women begin to wonder about how effective what they do is, and they shouldn’t. They should realize how extremely important they are in all the plans of his Father in heaven…

I think wherever it is at all possible to be done, a man will bless his children more by making it possible for his wife to be in the home with them as they are growing. They need, if it is at all possible, a mother in the home with them.

It is easy to get so wrapped up in the day to day drudgery of being a mom that you forget the real purpose of what you are doing.  Hearing an apostle say directly that what I am doing is important, that staying home with my children is important, and that I am doing a great work really touched me and comforted me.

I encourage you to listen to this podcast if you have some time.  There are lots of great things that I learned about Elder Scott and he had a lot of great things to say to us as an apostle of the Lord.

What has been the importance of the mothers in your life?